We're All Just Animals
by AlyssDwyn
Summary: Naruto was never happier with the way his life was going. Until Uchiha Sasuke had to appear and blow it all up in his face. Yet Sasuke knows a secret, one that threatens the life of Naruto and his dog, Akina. Can love really conquer all? SasuNaruSasu.
1. Naruto, The Tourguide

**WE'RE ALL JUST ANIMALS – A NARUTO FANFIC BY ALYSSDWYN**

**Pairing: **SasuNaruSasu**  
Rating: **For this chapter, Teen. Overall, Mature.**  
Warnings: **There really are no warnings… unless you don't like dogs… or ticks. o:**  
Disclaimer: **Yes, I just happen to be writing this story because I'm a super-rich mangaka. Uh, yeah, me own nothing.**  
Foreword Authoress Notes: **Yeah, this thing would be called my new story. (: Read it, love it, review it.

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

Akina-chan was always a handful. Whenever it was time for her bath, Naruto, Kiba, and Ino had the glorious task of chasing her through the facility. Sometimes even Shikamaru helped, but he usually spent his time "helping" by following the three and constantly muttering things that revolved around the word "troublesome". But that was just Shikamaru.

Now, Sakura, on the other hand, would normally participate by screeching "helpful" tips at them while they harassed poor little Akina-chan. It's not like it was _her _fault she had an acute fear of water, but they just had to try and catch her to give her a bath, now didn't they? They could just let her be filthy and stinky, it's not like she cared.

Usually when bath time hopped around, it would take them a few hours or so before they could actually catch her. But when Shino was around… dear Kami help her. That boy and his weird control over bugs scared the bodily fluid out of her. Literally.

…And guess who just happened to be around the corner Akina-chan flew around?

Upon seeing the sunglass-clad boy, Akina-chan's heart flung itself into her throat and back into place again. Desperately, she tried to stop herself and run in the opposite direction, but it was futile. The hard linoleum floor was slippery against her tiny feet, and she thumped heavily against the tile, all hope of escape lost. Dear Kami, just take her now. Anything but the bath!

Praying to any god that would listen, she cringed as the slim fingers of Shino curled around her abdomen. "Got ya'," he told her, holding the small puppy in front of his face. For Akina-chan, if looks could kill, Shino would be dead four times over by now. "At least there were no bugs this time."

Okay, so one time she misplaced her footing and went barreling into a stack of empty boxes, sending them crashing down around her, causing a huge commotion, and ultimately caused her pursuers to nearly face-plant the floor trying to dodge them. It's not like you needed to send a swarm of fleas after her for _that._

Thankfully her savior, Naruto, came crashing around the corner soon after. Akina-chan yipped happily, and Shino handed the young Shiba Inu to the blond as he approached. Once in his non-buggy hands, Akina-chan continuously licked at the boy's whiskered cheeks. "Hey, hey, Akina-chan, don't act like Shino tortured you or something," he laughed.

Oh, if only this poor idiot of a blond knew.

"Naruto! Look at what Akina-chan just did!" Sakura shrieked from behind them, pointing at the obvious puddle on the white floor with horror. Akina-chan wasn't joking about the whole "scares the bodily fluid out of her", you know.

"Oh, come Sakura, it just one accident." Naruto shrugged; so Akina-chan wasn't potty-trained yet, big deal.

From behind Naruto, Kiba, Ino, and, eventually, Shikamaru emerged from around the bend as well. Hearing most of their conversation, Kiba, with Akamaru behind, walked up and scratched the reddish-colored puppy in Naruto's hands. "Come off it Sakura, Akina-chan is a good dog—right, Akamaru?" He asked, taking his hand away and picking up his own pooch, who barked in approval.

"'One accident'?! Naruto, every time we go on a wild puppy hunt, this happens! Do you not remember what Tsunade-sama told you?" Sakura told him, ignoring Kiba's remark and Akamaru's agreement.

Of course Naruto remembered, he just listened to what he thought was most important. Tsunade-sama had a tendency to ramble, so most of the time the best thing you could do was block out the boring things, and concentrate on what you thought was important. Which just so happened to not include potty-training.

"…And that if you didn't, Akina-can would be sent to another shelter!" Sakura continued, not noticing Naruto hadn't even heard her start to begin with. Although that last portion of her sentence did catch his attention.

"What?!" he shouted, disrupting some of the other dogs in the room conjoined to the hallway they were in. He clutched Akina-chan closer to his T-shirt clad chest as the Shiba Inu puppy whimpered and snuggled deeper into the orange fabric. "Tsunade-sama wouldn't do that, would she?! She knows how much I've always wanted to have a dog! I won't let her take Akina-chan!" A short "yip!" came as a reply.

"Well, start potty-training her! And, while you're at it, try to get her _less _afraid of the water. Kill two birds with one stone." She said heatedly, "This is becoming a constant occurrence, and we definitely don't have the time for it. There are other animals we have to take care of, you know!"

"…Hai, Sakura-chan," Naruto replied, using the honorific not commonly used between the group of friends.

Sakura's facial features drooped with concern, and she took a step towards the young blond. "Look, I'm sorry Naruto, it's just…"

"I'll start right away, Sakura! She'll be the best potty-trained puppy ever! You can believe it!" He shouted, his face brightening up and fist pumping the air, while holding Akina-chan securely against his chest in the other.

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

"We never did clean up the puddle after that did we, Akina-chan? We just left and let Sakura and the others have to deal with it." Naruto finished scrubbing the last of her back, and while he was reaching for the hose connected to the large tub, he heard her chortle deep from in her chest. Naruto laughed with her as well. "It's been three years since then, and that story is still the only thing that keeps you calm enough to let me wash you."

When finished hosing her down, Naruto took off the latex gloves he was required to wear while washing and motioned for her to climb out of the washbasin and onto the portable grooming table he had ready. Once she had done so, Naruto rolled it to a place with better lighting for him to look her over for any parasites or anything that needed to be seen by Kakashi-sensei or Iruka-sensei.

Just as Naruto had finished the back half of Akina-chan, Shino and Ino walked into the grooming area, fetched themselves some disinfectant, towels, and other cleaning supplies from the cabinets underneath the sink before leaving without a word. Naruto was actually quite glad about that, since bath and grooming time was the most he could spend alone with Akina-chan in the week.

And then, of course, Ino had to return after few minutes. Whatever god there was hated him with a passion, didn't it?

"Naruto-kun, when you're done with Akina-chan, Tsunade-sama wants to see you in her office. She says it's very important. She also asked me to let you know that Iruka-sensei will be coming in later today, he had previous engagements." And without a word, she retreated back out the door, too quick for Naruto to turn around and thank her.

That would be Ino for you, quick and to the point. She said as much as she needed too in as little time as possible. Of course Tsunade-sama would choose her to work in the shop; it was the perfect place for her. Even if the customers were sometimes shocked at how curt she was.

_Iruka-sensei had previous engagements, huh? _Naruto thought to himself, while feeling Akina-chan's front limbs for unusual markings, swellings, or bumps. Iruka was Naruto's personal tutor, per se, yet not officially qualified as a teacher, or anything near one. He was, though, a veterinarian technician for the animal clinic located on the north side of Konoha. Since they had plenty of workers, though, Iruka usually spent most of his time at the shelter. _Maybe he finally found himself a nice girl? _He chuckled to himself, while finishing checking over the forelegs, chest, and neck of Akina-chan and moving onto her head and mouth.

He checked the inside of her ears while he thought about why Tsunade requested to see him. _Could it be because of how messy I have kept things lately? School has picked up a lot, so maybe I can use that as an excuse… Or could it be another intern? Except Tsunade-sama hardly ever accepts the numerous volunteers and interns that show up. And, she only accepts students who are in veterinary school_—_and even then, it hard as hell for her to like you…_

"Tsk, tsk, Akina-chin," Naruto playfully scolded her, using the "baby talk" honorific for his beloved pet. "It seems like you have tick…" Akina-chan cast a sly glance at the door Shino had entered not five minutes before. She swore he was out to get her.

"Hey, now, I doubt it was Shino. You probably got this little bugger from that walk a few days ago, the one for the orphanage downtown." Naruto didn't know _what_ it was, but Akina-chan has this weird paranoid thought that Shino was out to get her.

While walking over to the counter and pulling open a drawer, he saw Akina-chan glare at door. Naruto could swear on his life there was no other human-like dog that could compare to Akina-chan. It's was like a human trapped in a dog's body. Though, really, Naruto shouldn't be comparing humans to animals like that. Really. We were all just the same; we all had the same desires, all that was different were the outward appearances.

After reaching into the drawer and retrieving a pair of tweezers, he returned to the table. Taking her left ear in his hand and slightly bending it, he took the tweezers and grabbed the head of the tick. With a gentle yet strong pull, the pencil eraser-sized tick was free of Akina-chan's ear. "There you go, all better," Naruto breathed into her now tick-free ear. Akina-chan growled playfully, telling Naruto that she enjoyed it, even if it did make her ear twitch annoyingly.

Naruto patted her head lightly, and moved on to check her eyes, ears, and mouth. When he found nothing abnormal in her eyes, her nose wet and glistening, and healthy gums and teeth in her mouth, he officially labeled her as 'done'.

"Come on, girl," he began as he unhooked the restraint from her collar, "Why don't we see if Chouji has anything for you to eat in the kitchen?" Akina-chan woofed happily, shook her behind, darted off the table, and stopped at the door to wait for her owner. Even though neither of them considered Naruto to be an owner; it was more like 'companion' or 'friend'.

"Coming, coming," he called as he picked up the tweezers and discarded the tick into the trash bin, and quickly washed the tweezers before replacing them in the drawer he originally got them from. "Come on, who's up for ramen?"

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

The facility consisted of four levels: a basement, the main floor, the living quarters of the interns and boarded pets, and the attic. Naruto, currently on the main floor, briskly walked out of the grooming room, around a few turns, and took the stairs two at a time to the kitchen, which was located on the third level.

"Oai-deki-te ureshii-desu, Chouji!" Naruto greeted the tall, yet stout, man as he walked into the surprisingly well decorated kitchen, Akita-chan close behind.

"Hajimemashite, Naruto-kun?" Chouji asked the young hyperactive blond while setting the ever-constant bag of chips down, and reached above him, opened one of the many cabinets, and pulled out the always Uzumaki Naruto favorite: instant ramen. This time it was cup ramen, since he could tell Naruto was here for a quick visit. Of course, he didn't forget Akina-chan, and pulled a second one down as well.

"Genki-desu, arigatou." He replied, taking both packages over to the microwave. Akina-chan barked and wagged her tail happily at Chouji's feet, adding her input.

Naruto really would have preferred boiling water and then adding it to the dried pasta, or better yet—Maruchan instant ramen, but since he was short on time, he just quickly filled each cup with water and plopped both of them into the microwave. He knew the salty food wasn't good for Akina-chan's health, but this was a rare occurrence, being pressed for time. Naruto set the time to six minutes.

"Anata wa?" Naruto asked Chouji, continuing their conversation, and set himself on the granite counter next his friend.

"Watashi-mo genki-desu, arigatou." He replied curtly. Naruto could have sworn Chouji and Ino were too alike to not be twins, at least in the sense of their personalities. They were so blunt it was almost annoying. (1)

Chouji continued, "I heard Tsunade-sama has found another intern to take into the facility. Have you heard anything about them?"

_So, she has taken a new intern in, _he thought to himself. To Chouji he replied, "Ja, ne?" It was a common phrase around the shelter, often used in place of terms like, "I know, can you believe it?" or "So, what now?" Its definitions were virtually endless, but no matter how it was used, the small group of interns usually knew its meaning.

"Ah, yes. I really don't understand it either. You would have thought the seven of us were pretty capable." He chuckled to himself.

Naruto scratched his head and looked at the timer on the microwave. He still had three minutes and fifty seconds. "Mmm, yeah. I'm just hoping it's not a guy, especially one Sakura or Ino can get all googly-eyed over. I bet they have hot boy ADHD." This time Naruto was the one to laugh at his own joke, and Chouji gave a grunt of approval.

"I'm also anticipating that I'm not the one to tour the poor person around. It gets so boring," he complained to his friend.

Chouji grunted in agreement while munching on his chips. For a few moments, Naruto switched between watching his friend eat and watching Akina-chan, who was currently at the end of his dangling feet, panting and wagging her tail so that it made a slight "whoosh" as it slid across the tile.

And, then, for what seemed like a million awkward silences later, the three consecutives beeps of the microwave sounded, letting Naruto know that his and Akina-chan's ramen was done. Akina-chan let out a happy, "yip!" as she jumped up and onto all fours to follow Naruto to the microwave. Her tail was going a mile a minute; Akina-chan was definitely a fan of ramen, just like her companion.

Carefully taking the cheap styrofoam cups from the microwave with an oven mitt, he set them down on the small dinette table close by. Akina-chan whimpered softly at not being able to immediately eat her food, and her tail slowed in it's rapid pace to show her disapproval. "Now, don't look at me like that, Akina-chan. You know you can't eat it directly after cooking." Another whimper followed—this one of sad agreement.

A couple of minutes later, Naruto had finished his cup noodles in seconds, whereas Akina-chan was happily gobbling hers at a pace that would not induce choking. Naruto rose from the dinette chair, stretched, and rubbed his now content stomach. Chouji was still eating, his gaze and position having not change in the past minutes.

"Ah, Chouji?" Naruto questioned.

"Hmm?" Chouji returned, his way of asking what Naruto desired of him.

"Well, how should I put this…," Naruto pondered how to begin, "Tsunade-sama requested to see me, and seeing as how she's grumpy enough as it is, I don't want to make it worse. So, I was wondering, do you think you could watch Akina-chan while I go to her office?" Naruto didn't like being separated from Akina-chan, and avoided it as much as possible, but Tsunade-sama, even as big as an animal lover as she was, had a strict rule against animals in her office. All, of course, except for Tonton, Shizune's pig.

"Eh, no problem, maybe I can test some of my new recipes on her." Chouji agreed, laughing at Naruto's look of horror. Chouji was every shelter animal's personal "chef", seeing as how he was studying diet and nutrition for domestic animals at the same university every other intern came from: Konoha's Regional Academy of Veterinary Medicine. Most of his… experiments turned out to be pretty disgusting, but a few concoctions had turned out pretty well, like the peach and lamb platter he gave the kennel dogs on Christmas a few years ago. Not to mention the apricot, avocado, and zucchini mixture was a huge hit with all the herbivores. The good news was that it kept the shelter animals healthy, happy, and not hungry, while still giving Chouji a chance to hone his skills.

"Well, I just leave her with you, heh." With that, Naruto left a somber looking Akina-chan with the devious chef, Chouji.

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

Naruto took the stairs two at a time; even though he could have just as easily taken the elevator. It was just that the elevator was too slow for his constant need to go and _move._

Reaching the bottom, he lightly jogged through a few of the multiple hallways, before turning a corner into the main area. It was quite breathtaking really, and Naruto always felt a little pang in his heart every time he saw it. There was a large reception desk to his left, the top a creamy marble, and to his right the smooth pale yellow wall continued before turning right and following along until you came to the dog and small animal section. In front of him a seating area was arranged and beyond that were clear glass cages for the multiple cats and kittens the shelter housed. And then to the right of that were five or six glass visitation areas; places for potential owners to preview, per se, their next possible pet.

None of that was exactly important know, since he only needed to be around the other side of the reception desk, and to the frosted glass door. That was where Tsunade-sama's office resided in this maze of a facility. And it was there he needed to be.

Cautiously opening the glass door, Naruto poked his bright blond head into the opening, and azure blue eyes scanned the book-lined office. Her office was empty, for the time being, so maybe this was his chance to go in unnoticed and…

"Uzumaki!" Came a resounding boom from behind him, and he felt the heavy book slam onto his golden locks.

"Owww," Naruto moaned, moving out of the way for the ample-bosomed woman pass through before following her. "What did you do that for, Tsunade-baba-chan?!" It was Naruto's pet name for Tsunade-sama: Tsunade-baba-chan, and despite what certain parts of her could convey, the owner and manager of the animal shelter was fifty-nine, nearly sixty.

"You were late, that's why," she replied coldly, turning on him with a glare. _Ugh, scary old lady, _Naruto thought fearfully.

"So what did you call me her for, Baba-chan?" He asked innocently, twisting his pinky finger in his ear with a huge grin on his face.

"Naruto, as you probably know, since _nothing can be kept QUIET, Shizune!_ We will be having a new intern join us," She replied hotly, glaring into the other room where Shizune, Tsunade's assistant and secretary, and Tonton, her pig, had an office. Shizune, not the pig.

"Erm… Well, yeah, Chouji just told me when I went to get some food." That reminded him of Akina-chan, which made him miss her, even if he had just left her alone less than five minutes ago.

"Good. I guess I'll brief you on some facts before he arrives…" She continued in a serious tone, hands splayed over each other as she stared at the twenty-one year old blond. "Now, his name is Uc— "

"It's a _guy_?!" Naruto nearly shouted, causing Tsunade-sama to raise one perfectly trimmed blonde eyebrow in a questioning manner. _Well, fuck. No, fuck doesn't even cover this. How about shit? No, shit wouldn't work either…_

"Yes, Naruto, do you have a problem with that?" There was an edge to her voice that he implied shouldn't interrupt again, or a certain book is going to end up smacking the side of a certain someone's head. "Now, as I was saying before, his name is Uc—," she paused, daring Naruto to interrupt her, before continuing, "—his name is Uchiha Sasuke. Twenty-one years old. Currently studies at the Konoha's Regional Academy of Business and Engineering. He will be staying with us until his bro—"

Once again, Naruto interrupted, "Are you telling me that you allowed someone who isn't even _studying _medicine—at least—take an internship here? When the hell did that rule change? Did I miss a memo, or something?!" He spat at Tsunade-sama viciously.

"_Naruto!_" She demanded, her vision flickering to thick hardback book sitting next to her on her desk. Naruto gulped apprehensively, getting the message she was sending him. "Please. Calm down and let me finish, you can comment _afterwards._"

That seemed pretty fair to the whiskered boy, seeing as how he would have a _lot _to comment about.

"Yes. Well, as I was saying, Uchiha Sasuke will be staying with us until his brother, his guardian, deems he has spent enough time in our care." Here she paused, eyeing Naruto carefully, "I have sent Iruka-sensei to fetch him from the designated meeting point. He should be here any second, but, nevertheless, whenever he does arrive, _you_ will be the one to give our grand 'ole tour." She smiled wearily at her own joke. Naruto didn't find it funny.

"_Now_ are there any questions or comments?" Again that damn smile.

"Yeah, two actually: What do mean by 'deems he has spent enough time under our care'? And, secondly, why the fuck do I have to show him around?!" Naruto was sure his voice rose on the last part of that sentence, but he didn't really care who heard him or not right now.

Tsunade-sama sighed, "Naruto, I am sorry that you have been chosen to do another tour, but Sasuke's guardian requested that we give him the best of the best, so I chose you." Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but Tsunade-sama held up a finger to shush him, "And to answer your first question, it means that Sasuke will be treated as a regular intern. He will be fed, showered, and put to bed under this roof. But only for however long his guardian sees as necessary; it could range from a few weeks to two, three years. I don't know."

Naruto was deathly quiet as he glared at the floor. He already had a deep dislike of the young man, even before he met him. Tsunade-sama had thoroughly answered his question, so he really didn't the need to speak… except one thing: "When is he coming?"

"That," she stated matter-of-factly, "could be anywhere from—"

Yet again she was interrupted, but not from Naruto's uncontrollable mouth. It was the sound of high-pitched, fangirl-like squeal.

"Now." Tsunade-sama stated.

_Fuucckkkk._

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

**(1) –** Your probably wondering what the hell they're saying up thur, right? Well, here you go.  
-- "Oai-deki-te ureshii-desu, Chouji!" _translates to_** "I'm glad to see you, Chouji!"**  
-- "Hajimemashite, Naruto-kun?" _translates to_** "How do you do, Naruto-kun?" **  
-- "Genki-desu, arigatou." _translates to_** "I'm fine, thank you."**  
-- "Anata wa?" _translates to_** "And you?"**  
-- "Watashi-mo genki-desu, arigatou." _translates to_** "I'm fine as well, thank you."**

**End Authoress Notes: **omfgsh. This took for fuggin' ever. It's two thirty in the morning, and I started at, like, six. I know, right? You know what the real shocker is? Sasuke was supposed to actually be described in the first chapter, as well as shown around, introduced, and all those good fugg nuggets. And guess where all that shizzz showed up? Definitely not in this chapter.

Well. Since I was going to give all the good juicy details of what my was-to-be-second-but-now-is-my third chapter here, but can't… you'll have to wait until the second chapter is published, motherlickers. :D I'll give you one little detail, though: it's amazing how close you can get when a mad, sadistic cat is on guard duty. Or, wait, is that the fourth chapter? …Hmmm. It does happen eventually, though! XD

And when I say close, I mean the _physical _kind, mwahahaha. And, no, no buttsmex yet! There will be! …Eventually.

**Read Me! **From now on, Tsunade, Iruka, Kakashi, and Akina will be referred to without the honorifics when not in quotes, i.e. only with the (-whatever) when someone is talking about/to them. It was to much of a bitch to handle typing so often. D: ahahaha.

**REVIEWS! **No matter how many times I can say it, reviews are what keep people updating, and the more positive reviews, the better. I do accept constructive criticism, though flaming is pretty much ignored. So, PLEASE! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! **REVIEW!**** (:**

**I love chuu. :3**


	2. Basements Aren't Fun

**WE'RE ALL JUST ANIMALS — CHAPTER TWO**

**Pairing: **SasuNaruSasu**  
Rating: **For this chapter, Teen. Overall, Mature.  
**Warnings: **Er… It's pretty dern safe… maybe language… yeah, language. :x**  
Disclaimer: **Yes, I just magically sprouted a penis, and have somehow become Masashi Kishimoto. Nope. Everything is his.  
**Thanks To: **JaRyse and Pay Backs a Bitch. To JaRyse: I still love you! XD To PBaB: you want, you got it! :D**  
Foreword Authoress Notes: **Writer's block should rot in hell. Seriously. I'm sorry this took two days to update, but I went to my grandmother's yesterday, and when I tried to bring the laptop, I got bitched at. So I had half a page, and just finished the rest today (eight pages!). So blame the Madre and Papa for the slow update, not their cute, innocent, buttsmex-lovin' daughter. 'Kay-'kay? Good. (: Everything is also unbeta'd in these chapters, so please don't point out any minor flaws, I do re-read my fics and fix them later. But if I abused the English language, go ahead and point and scream and all that good stuff.

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

_Fuck, _was the only thought Naruto's mind could register, as Sakura's—the most likely candidate, since Ino normally had a more civilized stature—squeal registered another octave higher, if that was even possible. If this continued, it might just go out of the human hearing range altogether.

As if in a daze, all Naruto could do was turn his head and look over his shoulder through the frosted glass door. After a few seconds of silence, he slowly rotated his head back and looked at Tsunade with bulging eyes.

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temple, trying to drive the ensuing headache away. "I probably shouldn't delay the greeting anymore than I have," she sighed to herself, rising and walking past a shell-shocked blond. When she reached the door and placed a manicured hand on the brass knob, she turned and addressed him. "Are you coming, Naruto?"

"B-but… how… h-… could…" he muttered stupidly, the dazed look never leaving his face. He was currently in his own stupor, hundreds of thoughts running past his mind at once. Was it humanly possible to go that high? And he just knew what Sakura would remind him of, like she did for every testosterone carrying intern that came to apply. The same boring speech about how he shouldn't steal what's-his-face from her because she was blah, blah, blah, and loved him _so _dearly. Gag him.

Necessarily, none of it was Naruto's fault. He was a friendly, sometimes obnoxious, person by nature, so it was commonplace to have people drawn to him. It just so happened it was a majority of guys… okay, all guys, not including Sakura or Ino. Secondly, Naruto was gay, which means he just so happened to be interested in the male sex. And, besides, it's not like the men thought they were all his long lost soul mates, right?

Wrong.

On certain times of the year, like his birthday or Christmas, Naruto's "fanclub" left him numerous amounts of presents, and it annoyed the hell out him. (1) Where the hell would he put all of the cards, sweets, and stuffed animals? Ultimately, he and Chouji would gorge themselves on the unhealthy snacks until they were completely gone, or they were too close to puking and just pitched the rest. The cards were just shredded as they were and used as bedding for the smaller animals, like rabbits and gerbils. And the stuffed animals… well, let's just say a certain corner of the attic was getting filled up surprisingly fast.

The weirdest thing, though, was how many of the men that lusted after Naruto were straight before they laid on eyes on him, and then after seeing Naruto: POOF! They were gay, or at least bisexual and bordering. It's like Naruto was the "Gay Jesus", and instead of converting people to Christianity, he converted them to homosexuality. (2)

Anyway, Naruto was nearly dying to see what this guy looked like, if his looks alone could make Sakura squeal that far past her normal pitch. He had better be a god-damn sex god if Naruto was going to steal him away from Sakura… Oh, has he mentioned how he never listens to what Sakura says, even when violence is threatened upon him? Yeah, that too.

_Hmm, _Naruto pondered, blatantly ignoring Tsunade's look of impatience. _I wonder if he's an heir or something… Wait! What if he is celebrity? Maybe I could get an autograph and sell it on EBay or something… _

Tsunade was bordering on impatient when Naruto's eyes began film over, since she wanted to get out there and pry the poor man away from Sakura. But when he started to rub his chin and look at the floor in a way that suggested he was scheming—probably something revolving around EBay, too—a plan that was destined to fail—maybe 'destined' wasn't the right word… 'doomed' seemed to fit much more nicely—caused the last standing nerve in Tsunade's brain to burst.

"NARUTO!" She shouted, her body shaking in pent-up anger, causing the door to shake as well. No doubt the people in the main area were wondering what the hell was going on, but she really didn't care. "Get over here so we can leave! NOW! This instant! Move it, move it, _move it_!" She found it oddly satisfying to find Naruto running to her like there was an angry bull chasing him. Sometimes she felt sorry about being so abrupt with him…

Who was she kidding? She enjoyed every second of it.

"Mah, Tsunade-baba, what the hell did you have to screech for?" Naruto pouted, sulking next to her and glaring defiantly.

"Because you are a moron who needs to be yelled at constantly for his own good and everyone else's sanity." Was the quick reply.

Naruto gaped. Did she seriously just say that? What a… what a bitch! The next time Tsunade was gone he was totally bringing Akina here and…

"Naruto. Naruto! Stop leaving this planet!" Tsunade was on the verge of insanity, so she gave Naruto a quick bonk over his head to calm herself. Naruto was about to complain again, when her cold stare met his. Naruto gulped. Point taken.

"Now, when we exit this door, you are going to act in a civil manner and try not to do anything… irrational. Do you understand me, Naruto?" The older woman had a strict tone to her voice, so he just nodded mutely, picked himself off the floor (where he had landed when Tsunade hit him), and stood next to her.

"Good." She nearly purred. Purred! This woman was messed up! "Shall we go then?"

Naruto didn't get a chance to respond, seeing as how Tsunade grabbed his wrist tightly, almost painfully, opened the door, and nearly dragged him out of it to face whatever Hell was waiting.

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

All thought process stopped as he tried to gain his footing on the white linoleum. And when he righted himself he thought his breathing had stopped altogether. How was something that beautiful even possible? Standing before him was _the _sexiest man, **ever**. So there actually was a thing called a sex god…

The man, who Naruto presumed to be Sasuke—he really, really hoped it was—had been sitting when Naruto was roughly pulled out into the open, but when he and Tsunade appeared, Iruka (who had been sitting with Sasuke), rose and the younger man followed.

If Sasuke was good looking while sitting, he was down right irresistible when he stood. Naruto could feel his mouth watering, and mentally reminded himself to try and keep his mouth shut, unless he wanted drool to splash onto the floor… It was really, really hard to not do that. Drool, he means.

When he rose to his full height, Naruto could get a better look at what he was wearing: a black, almost skin-tight shirt; deep tan cargo shorts that seemed to hang loosely on his frame, accompanied with a bullet belt; he had basic black shoes. And his _accessories_. Holy shit, he had so _many_. Naruto could count 5 necklaces—at least—and he had multiple bracelets on his small forearms. _This guy studies business? Shouldn't he be in a band?_

But that's not what kept Naruto staring. His face… wow. Even if it portrayed no emotion, and his coal black eyes looked sinister, it was beautiful. No wonder Sakura squealed like a banshee. (3) Oh. Speaking of Sakura, where was she…? As Naruto scanned the wide area and couldn't find her, he just gave up and continued staring at the man in front of him.

…And found her. She was attached to Sasuke's arm like a Siamese twin, or a very bright pink tumor. And he wasn't even doing anything about it! Naruto felt his breath hitch and a barely noticeable pang in the general area of his heart. Why was he acting like that? Sakura deserved a good man, after all the fuck-ups she had dated.

"Tsunade-sama, I am sorry for the delay in getting to the shelter, there was more traffic than I had anticipated." Iruka apologized, bowing deeply in front of the woman who ran the facility.

"Mah, Iruka, you don't need to bow," she admonished, dropping Naruto's wrist—wait, she had still been holding it?—and then continued, "I am just glad you and Sasuke-kun arrived here at the shelter safely."

Was it Naruto, or did it look like Sasuke's face twitched? Maybe it was the lighting…

"We were about to go into your office, but Sakura here,"—he gestured in the direction of Sasuke and Sakura—"stopped us and told me you currently had a visitor." He laughed, "If I had known it was Naruto-kun, maybe then we could have sped up the process of his… inauguration, I guess you could say." He laughed again, and then scratched the light scar on his nose. Naruto didn't know for sure, but he had heard that the scar was from a dog attack when Iruka was a young child.

_Thanks Iruka-sensei, make it sound like I'm a hindrance. I love you too, _came his bitter thought. If you couldn't tell, he was still pissed with Clingy McClinger, the one practically _draping _herself over the raven haired man, and he hadn't even been here for ten minutes… Or had he? Hmmm…

"Ah!" Tsunade exclaimed from next to Naruto, causing him to jump a little bit. "Sasuke-kun, I presume you have already met my receptionist, Haruno Sakura"—here Sakura giggled and clutched Sasuke's arm tighter; Naruto ground his teeth—"and Iruka-sensei." Iruka nodded his head toward the silent man. He did not return the gesture. Instead he seemed to be preoccupied with something beyond Naruto, and through one of the large front windows. Naruto cast a quick glance behind him, but found nothing except inert cars. Could that mean… he was…?

Naruto nearly flew out of his skin when the large hand crashed down on his shoulder. Wide-eyed, he turned to look at the busty woman who had put it there. "If I do recall correctly, you have yet to be properly introduced to one of my other interns: Naruto," Tsunade commented nonchalantly, jostling his shoulder a little playfully. She gave him a reassuring look. _Now or never, _it seemed to say.

Swallowing his drool, kept so long in reserve, and taking a deep breath, he stepped out from underneath Tsunade's comforting hand and walked the few steps between the two men to face Sasuke. He raised his hand, hoping it wasn't shaking, and stuttered, "U-Uzumaki Narut-to." _Fuck! Why did I stutter? Now he's going to think I'm some sort of pansy! And then he'll go out with_ Sakura_! Nooo! _Naruto could see it now, the cold stoic face of Sasuke's and Sakura's bubbly one, walking by a lake, and a child in between them… beaming up happily…

Naruto was pulled out of his horror movie-like reverie by the feeling of something icy and smooth sliding to fit into his still outstretched hand. Naruto looked up into the deepest pits of black he had ever seen, and heard his heart skip a beat. And when Sasuke started to shake his hand and that _smirk_—the smirk that only a sex god could have—was directed at him, little mortal Naruto, he honestly believed he died and gone… somewhere. Sex God Heaven?

"Uchiha Sasuke," was the husky reply that came from porcelain-like lips. Dear Kami! His voice! Naruto could have melted into a puddle right then and there and cared none the less.

He was silently disappointed when he felt Sasuke firm grip lessening, a sign that Naruto should let go. He did, but he was very reluctant—in his mind—to do so. In reality, it almost looked like Naruto couldn't have been happier that the black-haired man had let go of his tan hand. Maybe he should wipe it on his jeans for emphasis? _No, that would overdo it too much…_

"All right, all right," Tsunade's voice boomed as she maneuvered in between Sasuke, with Sakura attached—still!—and Naruto, who was currently glancing from Sasuke to his hand, and back again. He was trying to do it as subtle as possible, but… well… this is Naruto we're talking about. Nothing is ever subtle with him.

"Sakura-chan!" She said in a raised tone. Sakura eyes widen in terror as she made an 'eep!' sound, and she unhooked herself from Sasuke's puny arm. "Get back to work! Now! Go, go, go!" Her hand raised and pointing at the reception-slash-help desk was a formidable sight, and Sakura instantly hustled her pink-locked self behind the creamy marble top. She immediately started typing away at the computer's keyboard, filling in reports and orders.

Tsunade chuckled to herself as she turned back to Iruka and continued, "Iruka, you can do what you would normally be doing around this time. I thank you for your time." He bowed, though noticeably not as deep, and started walking off, before he paused and came back.

"Naruto-kun, I forgot to ask you, did Akina-chan's bath and check over go well? There was nothing abnormal either Kakashi-sensei or I need to look over her for, is there?"

Naruto, surprised by his presence—he had been staring at the floor, poor boy—jumped when he heard his name called, but relaxed when the questions were directed at his beloved Akina-chan. "No, Iruka-sensei, there was nothing abnormal. I did find a tick though." At his tutor's face, Naruto waved his hands and went on quickly, "No! No, everything is fine, I removed it like you told me to, and she's _fine_. Right now she's upstairs with Chouji." Speaking of Akina made Naruto a little uneasy, and he wondered what she was doing. He really wished he could hurry up this godforsaken tour and return to her.

"Ah, that's good, Naruto. You'll make a fine veterinarian one day." Iruka smiled, waved, and then was gone; probably to the clinical rooms in the back. Naruto inwardly sighed, and a worried look crossed his face. _Is Akina-chan okay? She gets a little antsy when I'm gone for too long…_

Tsunade caught his glance out of the corner of her eye as she watched Iruka leave, and smiled to herself. "So, since all of that is settled. Shall we commence the beginning of the tour?" She turned to Sasuke, who had been watching the whole thing like it happened every day, blinked at her with a bored expression. She sighed.

"You didn't tell me you were going with us, Tsunade-baba!"

"I'm not, Naruto. You are to take Sasuke around the facility by yourself." A short, muffled, shout of "WHAAAT?!" came from behind the reception desk, but Tsunade ignored that.

"But why not, Tsunade-baba?" Naruto was sulking again. Oh, dear.

"Because, Naruto," she started firmly, "I have work to finish, I've spent too much time here as it is. I have an animal shelter to run, you know." Naruto whimpered beside her, and she glanced at Sasuke from under her eyelids. A small smile splayed on her lips.

"Besides, Naruto, you have big ol' Sasuke to protect you from all of those mean doggies," she cooed in her best 'cutesy-wootsy' voice. And, low and behold, Uzumaki Naruto turned crimson—not red—_crimson. _Loud coughing could be heard from behind the marble countertop. Sasuke, well… he just stood there.

"Well then boys, I'll leave it to you," she winked at Naruto as she finished. "Try not to get into too much trouble."

Naruto understood what she was implying… He was going to kill her for it, too.

And then she left, just like that. Gone. Poof! Wammo! He was left with the ice-like man, and murderous woman behind a desk looking at him. Might as well get it over with, right? Naruto just hoped he didn't stutter. But you know how things go for him.

"Um… uh, I g-guess I'll s-sh-ow you the ba-basement f-first."

Damn it.

When Sasuke replied with a soft, "…Hn," Naruto started to walk towards the entrance to the back portions only employees could enter. He knew what Sakura was thinking, about him and showing Sasuke the basement first. The basement was the darkest, and the least entered, so she probably thought he was going to attack him and do the "naughty-naughty". Sadly, Naruto was still a virgin, and although he would love to do that, he believed in a strong relationship before anything intimate.

He ignored the death glare she was shooting him as he opened the metal door, and held it open for Sasuke. When he was through, he took a left and continued down the corridor, concentrating intently on the floor. He knew Sasuke would follow. Occasionally, though, he would sneak peeks at the pale, raven haired man. Kami, he even walks sexy… with his hands in his pockets; the look of boredom down perfectly; and his hair… could anything be more this-took-forever-to-do-but-looks-like-it-didn't? No, probably not.

All too soon, they reached the plain metal door leading to the damp basement. Still thinking about Sakura, an idea came to mind. He didn't have to show him the _whole _basement; he could just show part of it to him. Maybe that would calm his friend's nerves a bit. Yeah, that was a good plan!

Pushing on the metal bar with a new confidence, and shivering slightly when the cold metal touched his hands, Naruto shoved open the door. A small gust of moldy-smelling air wafted through the opening. "This would be our basement. W-We normally just keep things l-like Christmas and oth-other holiday de-decorations down here." _The fucking stuttering! Argh!_

Sasuke bent over—hands still in pockets—and peered through the opening and into the darkness that started about halfway down the stairs. There was a look that crossed his face, but the blond couldn't tell what it was from the angle he was positioned. And then: "We're not going down?"

Shiiiit.

Naruto's blush, which never really went away, deepened when Sasuke straightened up, and looked at him coldly. "Well… well, I-I don't really s-s-see the po-point. There's n-nothing down there, af-after all." If Naruto had a Blush Meter that ran from pink to the darkest red imaginable, it would be resting about halfway right now, and rising with every second.

"Ah. Yes, but, see… there's this thing Naruto-kun," —said blond's heart nearly stopped when he heard his name roll off Sasuke's tongue—"my guardian, as you may or may not know, wants me to know every corner of this facility. That is a simple request to make," here he paused and looked at Naruto before continuing, "and it's not that hard of a request to fulfill. Do you think you could do that for me… Naruto-kun?"

Was… was he flirting with him?!

Naruto was on the verge of a nosebleed, but he tried to control it. He could, if Sasuke didn't toy with him anymore. Naruto growled a little in his throat at this thought, but if Sasuke heard, he didn't show it. "Fine," came the sharp, biting answer. "But we have no flashlights, so let me go get some before we…"

"No." With that one word, Sasuke froze Naruto, who had been turning to get some flashlights, in his tracks. "Eh, nani?"

"I'll be fine," he stated dryly as he started to descend the halfway-lit stairs. Naruto was fast on his heels, but lost Sasuke to the darkness before he could catch up. As he rushed through the darkened portion of the stairs, and heard the door closing, immersing them in total darkness, a thought crossed his mind.

Sasuke had said 'I'll be fine' instead of 'We'll be fine'. _Bastard, _he growled to himself.

"Oi! Sasuke! Where the hell did you go!?" Naruto shouted into the darkness.

"I'm right here, you moron. Why the hell would you need to shout?" His voice came from beside Naruto.

"Eheheheh… I don't know. I just knew Tsunade would skin me alive if anything happened to you."

A short, 'hn' was all Naruto got as a reply.

As he heard Sasuke's footsteps begin to move forward, Naruto obediently followed the sound.

"Wait, Sasuke, you don't know where you're—"

"Ow… SHIT!"

"—going…"

"Well then, why don't you just _lead the way_." He hissed hotly.

"Fine, but you don't need to get all bitchy. We're in a pitch black basement; of course you're going to hit something." _What the hell was Tsunade thinking, letting this prick be an intern? He probably eats puppies for breakfast, and uses kittens as baseballs. _Naruto cringed at that last thought.

Naruto didn't get a reply to his comment. He just scooted around Sasuke; although he did have to grasp the raven's shoulder to push him out of the way a little bit. Naruto's heart nearly got stuck in his throat. Sasuke flinched at the unexpected touch, and Naruto quickly removed his hand.

For the next few minutes they dodged boxes and walked, tripped, and every other adjective you could think of through the maze of things in silence. Naruto found it almost peaceful, even if his thoughts were constantly about Akina, and how she was doing.

"…Naruto," came a husky voice in the darkness, dangerously close to his ear. He could feel the blush creeping up his neck and face.

"Y-yes, Sa-Sasuke?" Damn it! And he was so close to getting over his stuttering!

"It's cold." _I guess that makes three blunt interns, _Naruto deadpanned.

"What do you think I can do about that?" Naruto was glad he had gotten rid of stuttering as much. But he still stuttered, and it pissed him off to no end.

There was silence for a minute, and then there came the husky whisper into his ear:

"…Will you hold me?"

_Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, FUCK! _We're the only coherent thoughts running through his head.

"U-uh, maybe you s-should ha-have worn more—I mean, t-thicker—no, I m-mean, better cl-clothes." Naruto knew he sounded like an idiot, but he would do anything to get the mental images out of his head. Abruptly, he turned and said in the strongest voice he could muster, which was really no more than a whisper, "Maybe we should get out of here, right… S-Sasuke?"

"What's the rush?" Ohhh, Kami. Even though he couldn't see worth _shit_ in the basement, he could just picture Sasuke's tall and lithe body. And then in his mind's eye, it was moving towards him, grabbing his waist and crashing their…

"NO!" Naruto shouted openly, not realizing until a few milliseconds later. _Fuck._

"What are you so defiant about… Naruto-kun?" For the love of… did Sasuke just purr?! With his name on his lips?!

Naruto was close to tears now; he didn't like being antagonized by the raven. "Please… please, can we go? Please, Sasuke?"

After saying that, Naruto was mentally slapping his cerebellum for begging Sasuke—who Naruto was supposed to guide around, mind you—to leave. What the hell! He could have just charged past him and said, "We're leaving," or some random trash like that. But _nooo_, _of course not, _Naruto had to be the idiot he really was and ask the person who didn't know where jackshit was and beg him! Fucking beg! BEG! It seems you don't get the picture, here… **BEG****!!** Is it clear now?

Before Naruto could further destroy his brain for its stupidity, there was a shuffle, a wayward sigh, and then sound of boxes being moved. A grunt followed, before more shuffling was heard. _What the hell is he doing…?_

"Come on," a certain man said, "let's go."

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

After many dead ends, blunt objects stubbing toes, and, for Sasuke, the giant Santa falling on him, they reached the bottom of the stairs.

How did they find it, you ask? Simple. Naruto face-planted them.

Yet, despite that, the two twenty-one-year-olds came out barely scathed… Except for Naruto, whose poor brain was trying to comprehend everything Sasuke had just done and said, _all _while trying to prevent a nosebleed doing so.

It was awkward and silent as Sasuke and Naruto walked down the same corridor they had come from, albeit in a different direction, and opened the heavier metal door leading to the main area. Might as well get it over as soon as possible, right?

His murder is what he meant. Naruto didn't know how long they had been in the damp, dark, and ultimately painful basement, but he was pretty sure anything past a minute would have activated Sakura's bitchy-fangirl-mode. And, guess what? He was right.

She was sitting behind the desk, like she spent every day, but when she heard their footsteps approaching, she conveniently swiveled her desk chair and scooted it across the vast expanse of space between the two sides and picked up papers in a mesh bin. Naruto could see through her façade. When Sasuke walked by, she acted surprised and smiled up at his passing figure. He didn't notice her. But when _Naruto_ walked by… boy oh boy, she shot him the glare that blatantly said 'I will fucking rip you god-damn trachea out if you touched him,' and to boot, she mouthed, "We're talking after your done with your… tour." Even though she was silent, Naruto could hear the spite in her words.

"It's not what you think. Nothing happened." He mouthed back to her, but Sakura had returned to work.

Naruto sighed, and passed Sasuke as they neared the cats' and kittens' section. Cats weren't really his thing, mostly Shikamaru's, but he would do the best he could. Besides, he didn't have to introduce Sasuke to any of the multiple felines today. That time could come later.

_If I get to live that long, _he thought, his memory returning to Sakura and her anger. He shook it off, and stood beside Sasuke, who was currently eyeing a frisky Russian Blue kitten that was pawing one of those plastic toys with the bell inside, and frantically trying to hold it and gnaw on it, but the toy would escape his grasp and the cycle would continue and continue until he got bored.

But for now, he was still trying desperately. Naruto smiled. "He's cute, isn't he?" Maybe being around the animals could ease some of the tension between the two.

Sasuke didn't respond for a moment, and Naruto was afraid he wouldn't answer him at all, when he spoke one word:

"Hn."

The blond could have fallen over from the shock. And he almost did, but he was more preoccupied at reprimanding the raven-haired. "Dude, do you even speak English words?" He was slightly angered at the other man's lack of… social interaction, if you got his drift.

Sasuke was still watching the kitten and had not replied, when Naruto spoke again, "Oi. Sasuke, let's get going so I can finish the tour." _And not get eaten alive afterwards, _he said to himself. He quickly peeked over his shoulder at Sakura, who still looked as if she was diligently working. Naruto could tell the difference, though; she was constantly fiddling with her hair, a sign that she was uneasy.

Naruto heaved a large sigh. "Okay, Sasuke, as you can see we're back where you originally entered," he began, seeing if Sasuke would look his way. He didn't. Naruto sighed again. "As I was saying, you originally arrived here, in this area. Where we are right now is what we call the 'main area', and where we are standing is the cats' and kittens' section. To our right are the rooms for potential owners to meet with each cat or kitten they like."—Naruto pointed, and was smugly glad that Sasuke's gaze followed his finger—"There are currently no people or adopters there because it is Sunday, and we are closed on Sunday."—Was Naruto's voice going monotone? It was just so boring to repeat the same things over and over—"Behind us you will see a sort of… seating area. That is where visitors can wait for a room to be free, or browse one out of many magazines we have available."—His voice was definitely going monotone, wasn't it? Well, shit—"And everything else is pretty much the same."

Naruto turned to look at Sasuke, who was eyeing him warily. "…What?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Your voice was monotonous about halfway through until the end."

Naruto guffawed, and loudly at that. "Are you serious?! You're looking at me like that because my voice went… well, boring?!"

His laugh continued for a good few minutes, knowing he was drawing Sakura's attention, though he tried to look like he didn't notice. After he had finished, he looked at Sasuke's face and nearly burst out in giggles again. He just looked so _stunned_. Like he'd never seen anyone laugh.

And maybe he hadn't, seeing as how he was openly glaring at him and—Naruto would admit to it—the stupid man's glare scared him.

_I bet Sakura is having the greatest moment of her life._

"W-What?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

Sasuke didn't reply, only stalked away, towards the dogs' and puppies section. "Wah! H-Hey! Wait up, you!" As much it pained him to look like an idiot in front of Sakura, only when they were around the corner, blocking her view of them, did Naruto trot ahead and stop Sasuke in his tracks. He still looked pissed… and formidable.

.**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**o**.**

**(1) **— I find it funny how Naruto has the fanclub now, instead of Sasuke. Take that, you anti-social prick! XD  
**(2) **— I don't mean to offend anybody with this, and if you are, I'm sorry… I still find it funny as hell, though.  
**(3) **— Okay. So banshees don't squeal. It would be fun to see that though, right? …Right?

**EDIT: **(July 8th, 2008) Okay, so the time for Sasuke to be introduced to the animals is drawing near! (dun dun duuuun!) What I need you guys to do is provide me with some names for the animals in the shelter! Simple, really. Give me anything! The name of your cat, your mom's name, your best friend's name, you staker's name, your cat or dog that passed away six years ago's name. Anything! Just nothing... too cutesy. Like, I don't know, Fluffy or Cuddles. Actually, Cuddles is fine, since that's our nickname for my cat. But you get the point, right? :D

**End Authoress Note: **GAWD! I hate being tired! It sucks! It sucks, it suuckkks. D: Do you know how much I wanted to get all of what I wanted to get in?! Do you? Seriously?! I just can't STAY AWAKE, and when that happens, the story suffers. And besides, it's already at 5500+ words; I think that can tide you over. So, yeah, don't worry! Another will be coming tomorrow… or is it today? (Looks at clock). Okay, so that will another fanfic by AlyssDwyn on tomorrow bread… Would you like fries with that? lmao. Oh! I'm getting my hair done tomorrow, so wish me luck! ;D

So, um, yeah. That's about it. Leave me reviews so i know what you guys think so far. I like to hear your feedback.  
I'll also put your screen name in a "Thanks To:" section at the top, you can see it if you scroll up. Wanna be there? Review. (:

**I love chuu. :3**


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